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@Fun12 - SANTA N BANTA.... NEW JOKES

 

Santa apni biwi kw sath train me safar kar raha tha
Raatko biwi boli: Yeh admi mere blouse me hath dal raha hai..
Santa:Tu fikar na kar paise mere jeb main hain :D

Santa: Baaju k ghar se IODEX maang ke la.
Wife: Wo log nhi denge.
Santa: Haan! Bade kanjoos or kamine log hai
Chal Apni hi almaari se nikaal le!

 

Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho,
bolti hi nahi
Santa samundar m dahi daal raha tha.
Banta- kya kr ra hai?
Santa- Lassi bna ra hu
Banta- isliye log hm pe joke marte hai
Itni Lassi Kaun Piyega.

 

Nurse Mubarak Ho
Ap k Ghr Beta Peda
Hua He
Santa-Wah G Wah
Kia Technology He
BV Meri Hospital Me He
Aur Bacha Mere Ghar Peda hua He

 

interviewer- where does d sun go in the Night
Santa- it doesn't go anywer.
Intrvr- superb pls continue.
Santa- bcoz of darkness v r unable 2 c it!

Santa Watching Star TV
Break me advertise aya aap dekh rahe he' Star TV
Santa bola:
in tv walo ko kese pata chala k me Star TV dekh Rha Hu

Titanic Ke Sath Santa Bhi Dub Raha Tha,
Our Has Bhi Raha Tha.
Banta: Oye Kyu Hass Raha Hai?
Santa: Shukr hai maine return ticket nahi kharida.

Sir: Achha Insan Wo Hi He Jo Dusro K Kaam
Aaye
Santa: Par Madam
Exam Me Na Aap
Humare Kaam Aati Hai
Aur Na Hi Kisi Aur Ko
Aane Deti Hai.


 
Santa: bus stand tak jane k kitnay paise
Taximan: 40rs
Santa: 2rs me chalega?
taximan: 2rs me kaun jayega?
Santa: piche baith me leke jata hu images





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@Fun12 - HUSBEND N WIFE..... FUNNY JOKES

 

HUSBEND N WIFE..... FUNNY JOKES




EK admi ne 100 times blood donate ker ke record banaya
Blood bank walo ne uski wife ko bhi prize diya ye kehte hue ki
Apne nahi piya
tabhi to Humne liya

2 men went to a call girl
1st went in & come out & said na my wife is better.
2nd went in & come out & said right ur wife is much better dost! :D

Nayi dulhan ko dulhe ne
suhagrat pe muh dikhai ke
Rs 25,000 diye..
Dulhan itne sare paise
dekh kar Ghabra ke boli:
Suno ji pura khandaan THOKEGA kya?


 
Funny women saying
A foolish man tel a women to stop talkng.
But a wise man tell her that,
her face looks extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

Why do men spend so much time on improving there styles & not there mind..??
Bccz they know that women are stupid but not blind.
Ha ha ha

What is true love.?
When wife pulls her husband,
who's fully drunk,
to bed & tries removing his shirt & husband replies-
LADY LEAVE ME ALONE,
I AM Married..!!

 

An idea can change ur life but a woman can change ur IDEA
So always change women to change ideas
What an IDEA SIR JEE

Psychology of life:
At the beginning of any relationship every girl treats her boyfriend as 'GOD'
But later on somehow the alphabets get reversed

Beti- Me padosi se pyar karti hu aur mein uske sath bhag rahi hu,
Baap- Thanku mere paise aur time dono bach gaye,
Beti- Main letter padh rahi hun jo mummy chor ke gayi hai..! :o

Bihari Babu- Aare o doctor..!
kaise nasbandi kiye ho hamari?
Biwi firse maa banne wali hai..!
Dr.- Burbaak hum nasbandi tohar kiye hai,
Poore bihar ki nahi images





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[EnjoyTheMasti] Bachelors Degree in Corruption

 

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We may be too old for re-equipping ourselves, but please pass it on to the aspiring younger generation

National Corruption Institute Of India ( N C I I )

Affiliated To Both Houses Of Indian Parliament

Listed on the World Corruption Index as the World's Best C-School
Invites Applications for 3 Years Undergraduate Bachelors Degree in Corruption. (BDC)

Earn your BDC from the World's Most Reputed Institute for Corruption Studies

OUR COMPREHENSIVE SYLLABUS INCLUDES:

Financial Theory and Practice

  • Transfer of funds through HAWAALA for creation of MASS GHOTALA
  • FINANCIAL NETWORKING -Movement of money through well engineered networks between State Party Units and Central Party Unit.
  • Solicitation methods to increase donations towards Party Fund.
  • Theory and application of Popular BRIBE concepts and methods like Chai Pani, Parcel, Change, Gift Box , Color TV, Foreign Trip and the ever popular Children's School Fees

Public Relations (PR) and Media Management

  • Learn how to be MISQUOTED BY THE MEDIA.
  • Learn to say the right things to be QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT.
  • Excellent training in PARTY SPOKESMANOLOGY .Learn how to argue on TV with other Party people on TV like Professor Manish Tewari and Professor Ravi Shankar Prasad.
  • Develop public gestures like NAMASTE and HAND WAVING.
  • Learn the art of proving all allegations as "BASELESS AND POLITICALLY MOTIVATED"
  • Effectively refute STING OPERATIONS. Advanced course in proving that VIDEO FOOTAGE IS FALSE AND MANIPULATED.

Law and Order Module:

In this module you will learn how to:
Commit MURDER and RAPE
Bring LOCAL POLICE under your control
Get BAIL super fast if you are ever arrested.
 Apply and get speedy ANTICIPATORY BAIL so you don't get arrested in the first place!
FIGHT ELECTIONS FROM JAIL! Special lectures by visiting Professors Shahbuddin and Pappu Yadav!

Advanced Riotology

 Methods to build your own storage houses for HOCKEY STICKS AND WEAPONS to engineer riots.
 Identify and develop your own fuel depots for easy and widespread dispersal of RIOT FRIENDLY PETROL TANKERS
Form effective partnerships with local liquor stores for easy procurement of DESI DARU to get rioters high and ensure awesome rioting!
Full study in CONTEMPORARY BUS BURNING. New age exciting methods for INSTANTANEOUS BUS COMBUSTION.
 Introductory Kashmir method of inciting riots through STONE THROWING.
Actual rioting demonstrations under the expert tutelage of Professor Pravin Togadia.

Gain Extensive Knowledge From Our Faculty Of

World class Professors.

Special Courses In:

  • "2G SPECTRUM" � A Telecommunications Perspective" By Professor Andimuthu Raja
  • ''Flat Taking From Army Jawan'' By Professor Ashok Chavan
  • ''The Correct Standard of Clean'' By Professor Lalit Bhanot
  • ''Sports Medal or No Medal, In Corruption Always Get Gold Medal'' By Professor Suresh Kalmadi
  • "Application of Corruption on Non Human Species � Stealing Money for Cattle Fodder" By Professor Laloo Prasad Yadav
  • "Building A Corridor For The Taj Mahal Can Cost More Money Than Building The Taj Mahal Itself" By Professor Mayawati Kumari.

...And Many Many More..!!

SO FORGET ALL B-SCHOOLS, BE COOL, JOIN

THE C-SCHOOL...

NCII IS THE BEST.

 


Amanda Detmer Bikini (Older Pics)
Ravishing Amrita Rao
kim-kardashian-3
Watch Camera Cell Phone Hyundai W-100

Critics? Choice Awards Brings Out the Stars
Katrina bag the first 2008 awards
Sania Mirza-16
Nokia CA-100 USB Power Charger For Mobile Cell Phones

Scorching Sherlyn Chopra
Kingfisher's bikini babes
kim-kardashian-1
Kate Hudson and Goldie Hawn in Aspen
Sania Mirza-15
Priyanka Chopra Cover girl of Vogue
Cellphone could be boarding pass, too
Meet the new Miss India USA
Samsung is bringing out their OLED TV?s to play at CES
Britney Spears forgets her Bra
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@Fun12 - Now u Guys tell me what is the moral Behind this ....????

@Fun12 - GOOD THINGS TO KNOW ?????

 

GOOD THINGS TO KNOW ?????



[1]
If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on the right side of your mouth. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on the left side of your mouth.

[2]
To make half a kilo of honey, bees must collect nectar from over 2 million individual flowers

[3]
Heroin is the brand name of morphine once marketed by 'Bayer'.

[4]
Communications giant Nokia was founded in 1865 as a wood-pulp mill by Fredrik Idestam.

[5]
Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult! In America tipping is forced upon customer at 15 to 18%.

[6]
People in nudist colonies play volleyball more than any other sport.
[7]
Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.

[8]
Astronauts can't belch - there is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in their stomachs.

[9]
Ancient Roman, Chinese and German societies often used urine as mouthwash.

[10]
The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.

[11]
The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. In the Renaissance era, it was fashion to shave them off!

[12]
Because of the speed at which Earth moves around the Sun, it is impossible for a solar eclipse to last more than 7 minutes and 58 seconds.

[13]
The night of January 20 is "Saint Agnes's Eve", which is regarded as a time when a young woman dreams of her future husband.

[14]
There are over 25 million bubbles waiting to burst out of each bottle of Champagne

[15]
Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros

[16]
It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!

[17]
The heat of peppers is rated on the Scoville scale

[18]
Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years
[19]
Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end

[20]
If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

[21]
Each year 2,000,000 smokers either quit smoking or die of tobacco-related diseases.

[22]
When it originally appeared in 1886 - Coca Cola was billed as an Esteemed Brain Tonic and Intellectual Beverage.

[23]
Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals

[24]
Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.

[25]
The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year.

[25]
For every real Christmas tree harvested, two to three seedlings are planted in its place.

[26]
Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent

[27]
Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't smoke unless it's heated above 450°F

[28]
The Shell Oil Company originally began as a novelty shop in London that sold seashells

[29]
The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

[30]
Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean

[31]
The banana cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man

[32]
Airports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density
[33]
Fish and Chip selling officially remained an offensive trade until 1940 due to the smell it produces

[34]
The University of Alaska spans four time zones

[35]
The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.

[36]
In ancient Greece, tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.

[37]
Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru (Hear no evil) and Mazaru (Speak no evil).

[38]
Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday.

[39]
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

[40]
A comet's tail always points away from the sun

[41]
The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent

[42]
Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines.

[43]
The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.

[44]
If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.

[45]
When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is sight

[46]
Trivia in Roman mythology was the goddess who haunted crossroads, graveyards and was the goddess of sorcery and witchcraft. She wandered about at night, and was seen only by the barking of dogs who told of her approach.

[47]
In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed

[48]
Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside

[49]
Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams

[50]
It cost the soft drink industry $100 million a year for thefts committed involving vending machines

[51]
The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year

[52]
The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust

[53]
Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters

[54]
Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts have the buttons on the left

[55]
Mickey Mouse is known as "Topolino" in Italy

[56]
Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down

[57]
The painting that won second place in a competition held by the US National Academy of Design was hanging upside down when it was judged

[58]
Everything weighs one percent less at the equator

[59]
For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at lift-off

[60]
The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.




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