Who is a Hyderabadi?
Among Males: Who don't hesitate to use words like"Baigan ke Ball"
Both genders cannot complete a sentense without
"Nakko, Hau, Hallu, Kaiku and Kate"
Daily..
He goes to Gas Station to fill and says: "Panch Point Single Oil Dalo"
He says ("abbi aataun mein") and vanishes for couple of hours or not come back at all.
Sleeps around 1 am and wakes only after 9:30 am
He drinks half cup tea atleast 6 times
Buys only one Gold Flake cigarette
Food..
If they do not eat rice at least once a day they will die.(Nothing other than Rice is considered as a meal)
For them the only good dishes on earth are: Hyderabadi Biryani, Nahari, Haleem, Marg, Khatti Dal, Tamatoun ka Sherwa, Bhendi ka Sherwa, dhai ki kadi, palak ki bhaji, gawar ki phalli, alu baingan, keema alu methi, khagina, khichdi, pyaz ka anda, papad, boti ka salan, khadi dal, murghi ka khorma, baghara khana dalcha, Til ka Khatta, mirchiyan bhajiye, khubani ka mittha, kaddu ki kheer and fruite salad.
They cannot digest or even praise: North indian, South indian, Lebanese, Italian, Arabic, Continental etc.
New Generation (males)
Over 96% are "badh soukh and badh zowkh"
They consider "Kalyani Biryani as Hyderabadi Biryani" and atleast once in a week he will visit "masha-allah, bismillah, and other restaurants – kisi na kisi to kaat te.
2 out of 3 are "Sharukh, Amir, Salman, or Sanjay
He feels offended if someone looks at him (Kaiku ghoorra miya?)
They only want to become an "engineer, doctor, MCA or MBA"
For most of them US Visa is a dream and Saudi visa a blessing.
Most of the Boys spends their precious time at "gali ke nukkard, Café, girls college, playing billiards, riding bikes, chatting on internet, teasing girls, changing mobile phones and spend their parents hard earned money.
New Generation (females)
If she is not studying at "St. Anns or Villa Mary" then she is not studying at all. Shadan College is a compromise.
Stanley is the only school and college for girls from Old City.
Begum's is the most preferred beauty parlour.
Most of them cannot live without going to "Tutorial"
Most of them would not like to put on the Sharara for the second time. Har shadi me naya sharara chahiye.
Most of them say " main kapde Neeru's our Meena bazaar se he leti hoon"
They are obsessed by Hindi Film Actresses.
Finding a Match
All most all the cases are dealt by "Marriage Bureau"
A team of one dozen go to see the girl (to eat and drink: pastries, bananas, mixture, fruit biscuits, etc)
When they return home after seeing the girl, someone from the family says "badi se manjhli ke aank nak ache hai"
If they want to reject they say "Ladki ka khad kam hai. Hamare bache ki height achhi hai (5.6)
They say "Ladke ku Family Visa bhi hai" (even if he makes 1600 riyals).
They say Ladke ka Sheikh (kafil) bahut acha hai tankha badatoun bola shadi ke bad.
All matrimonial ads mention boys salary in "rupees" so that the amount looks big.
Finding a Match
All most all ads say "ladki soum our sala ki paband hai'
All matrimonial ads. Say "shadi mein jaldi hai, ladki ke bhai bahar is aye huwe hain"
Advertisements some times clearly mention: "Ladke ku karobar bhi laga ke denge" or "Azad visa bhi denge" or "ladki ke naam pe jayezaad hain (200 gaz ka plot, makan ya phir flat"
Hyderabadi parents only look for: US/Canadian immigrants or Gulf settled – Deen ki nisbat pe rishte karne wale aaj kal bahut kam milenge.
Shadi ke mamle me "Bherd Chaal Chalte" jo jaisa kara waise sab follow karte"
Finding a Match
Har kisi ku Gori Ladki Chahiye – Khud bhilaven ke jais rahta.
Har ladke ki Amrika ki koshish chalte rahti ya phir bhainoyi saudi ka visa bhejne wale hai. Landan ki koshi bhi side mein chalti.
Ladkiyoun ku pakwan zyada nahin ata – If you ask them why" they reply "Laad pyar se pale".
Inter Fail ladke ku bhi graduate ladki hona
Finally Shadi Ke Din
Dinner invitation is known as "ration card" – if there is no dinner, a lot of them are disappointed, they say "kya jate miya auto ka kiraya dal ke, kheench nai hai"
Many still take "Jode Ki Rakham" (cash)
If you ask Dulahe Raaj, he will say " mere ku nai maloom ammi aur abba ki badoun me baat huwi, main to nakko bola sheikh"
These days "Nikaah" takes place at Masjid, but the jahez (dowry) reaches goom's home late night when neighbours are deep in sleep.
Men wear sherwani on "shadi ke din" and suit on "Valime ke din"(they think shewarni is the only dress for "Shadi", and suit for "valima dinner").
Finally Shadi Ke Din
Invitations clearly mention that nikaah is at 7 pm but dulhe raaja arrives at 8:30, 9:00. 9:30.
Soon after nikah, people are desperately waiting for some one to announce "aaiye" – (call for dinner) because on his way to the function hall he will stop at a cool drink store and drinks 7up or pepsi (bhook khulne) and the moment he hears the call "aaiye he jumps like hungry dog.
They are crazy about "Chicken" – puri dish undal leta mauka milte hi. Doosre guest ka khyaal nahi karta.
Pahle haleem khaleta, phir chicken, phir biryani, phir chicken, phir ublahuwa anda, phir chicken, phir chicken, and again chicken, phir ek katora furit salad, phir kaddu ki kheer, phir qubani ka meeta, and after eating all this he puts some "Dahi ki chatni in his palm" and starts licking it.
Finally Shadi Ke Din
When he is done with food, he needs a cigarette or gutka and then the discussion on the quality of food starts.
Ladies section is like "fish market"
Hyderabadis in Gulf
They love India and especially Hyderabad but they don't love their community. Ek doosre ki taang kheechte rahte.
Most of them look for "secretarial" jobs – that's the only position they fit in.
Naya Naya jo bhi aata us ke purane phard dete. "kaiku aaye miya, kya hai yaan pe, khatam hogaya sab. Kurchan baqi hai, wainpe kuch bhi karlena tha"
They are not very aggressive in hunting jobs these days because they are brain washed by seniors "rigga zaroori hai, rigge bagair nai hota"
Those who are working they follow a routine – Office, ghar, sleep, dinner, chatting with friends (+ aadhi chai, couple times and doosroun ki gheebat), TV and go to bed)
Families Gulf
Most "badnaam" community.
Living standard is very low.
They only buy used stuff. If you tell them to buy new or good quality furniture or appliances they reply "kya karna hai, apne ku kounsa zindagi bhar yahan pe rahna hai. India me ghar set karna, yahan pe nai qarach karna" and they stay here for almost half of their life – 25, 30 years and will not go unless they are kicked out.
Their only ambition in life is "Property" har kisi ka maqsad Zindagi ka "property" hai
You have to be really a true Hyderabadi to understand this...
When somebody tries to give big lecture telling people
what is right and what is wrong:
"Khaali peeli dimaag kharab karra"
When somebody tries to be over smart:
"hushhari karra"
When somebody asks address then whoever hears him asking the address comes near his vehichle and starts giving him direction:
"Woh jo pan ka dabba dikh ra aage uske baad 2 qadam pe ek galli hain, wahan left mudhiye, phir ek hajjam ki dukan aaingi, usku lagke ek galli hain, usme chautha makaan hain right ko. Peele color ki gate hai dekho"
Early morning in almost all mohallas of hyd there would be big sound of
"Cheeltay wale mauz, 2 rupiye dazan"
When some kid does not go to school and is seen playing by any adult of the mohalla
"Kya re es-school nahin jaake galli main goliyan khelra, thair tumhare baava ko boltaun sham ku"
Behind many autos "Maa ki dua"
Standard Bargaining:
"Rickshaw Tappa Chabutra chodh te kya.
4 rupie hote.
2 detiyu, chalet to bolo.
Kya Qala itne kam bolrai aap. Accha 3 rupiye de do.
Accha chalo"
Elderly people of the mohalla at hotel:
"Aaj kal ke potte, pottiyon ke dimaaga kharab ho gaye
Abdul Bhai. Potton to subah sham cricket hain,
pottiyon ko subah sham tv,
gaana bajana bas yahi hain dekho. Sahin bolrain Khader
Bhai, in logon ka kya hota ki aage, choto badon ki tameez hi nahin hain yeh laundon main. Apne bachpane main, badon ke samne topi pahne bagair nahin
jaate the apan loga".
When they are having this discussion a small 6 year kid is going to hotel to bring chai for his father.
While passing by this group he is singing a chalu song outloud
"Maza karle meri jaan, phir se na honge jawan. Bura
wura mat kahon, bura hain shaitan. Phir se na honge
jawan re jawan -----".
Imagine the faces of the oldies
Friends going to movie:
Kaleem: Arre Abdul kaa ja ra re tip top hoke.
Abdul: Filim ku ja rau, chalta kya.
Kaleem: Nahin tu jaa, main fakhad hoon.
Abdul: Kare na pinde ki baat. Tumhare ku paise kaun diyon bole. Tu Chal, mere paas maal hain.
Abdul: Arre Coolie aayi re Yakut main.
Kaleem: Arre nakko re Yakut main, garmi se mar jaate.
Arre parsu Khader jaake aaya Yakut ku. Bolra tha, interval ke baad pankhe chalu karrain kate"
Saving from Mandi ka Sauda."
8 year old Abdul is seen eating at Gacchup ki bandi by his friend khader far away from his home.
Khader: dekh rao Abdul dekh rao tereku
Abdul: Arre tu idhar kahan se aaya re
Khader: Thair, boltau beta tumhare ammi ku tu idhar bandi pe khara tha bolke
Abdul: Arre nakko bol re bade bhai, tere paira padh tau
Khader: Accha thode gacchup khilata kya nahin.
Abdul: Bandi wale isku 2 gacchup dalo.
Khader: Kahan se aaye re tere paas itne paise
Abdul: Kal Mandi ku gaya tha sauda laane.
Khader: Kitte maara.
Abdul: 4 rupie tees paise bache
Abdul: Tu nahin gaya kya aaj.
Khader: Arre kya bolu woh bandi waale ku. Iski maaki, Kamine ku aaj hi aana tha ghar ku."
Kid caught by father playing in mohalla at time of exams:
"Abse nahin kartau Pappa, Allah ke vaste mereku nakko maro."
Father gives him a sound thrashing and says "Mohalle ke awara potton ke saath khelta rahta. Padhne likhne ka shaukh hi nahin hain, bas aawara gardi hona. Inhe aage jaake rikshaw chalata dekho.
Agar tu examo main fail hua to nanga karke ghar ke bahar bada detaun nahin"
By the way, you hydis know that this is a routine which happens all the time and then when kid passes and the kids mother or grand mother scold the father by saying
"main boli mera baccha waqat par padh letain magar tumko bas bechare bacche ku marna zaroori hain" then,
even though the father is happy but his standard
answer will be "kaisa pass ho gaya ki, ummeed to nahin dekhri thi".
When one Mohallas guy is in another Mohalla chasing a girl and that Mohalle ke pahelwan catch him up:
Ghouse Pahelwan: Kya baat hain baba, bahut dikh rain aaj kal idhar aap.
Romeo: Nahin bhai aise hi jaa raha tha.
Ghouse Pahelwan: Aap acche ghar ke dikh rai baba, kayku karrai yeh harkata.
Romeo: Main kya kara bhai.
Ghouse Pahelwan: (After giving a strong thappad)
Nataka kara re saale. Pehchana re main kaun hoon. Yehi cheer detau tereku
Arre kayku marrai bhai, main kya ra.
Ghouse Pahelwan: (Again giving a strong thappad) Phir bola. Bhag yahan se fauran. Bade bade batan karra mere saamne. Agar ab ki baar mahalle main dikha to yehi teri khabar khod detau...
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